“Real” being the root of reality… – 10/22/17

Let me tell you about my past few days.

Thursday, I spent time with two friends. One was burying her mother. We got in a good hug at the visitation before I had to buzz to my dinner date. My dinner date is a former coworker. She and I try to catch up over a good meal somewhat regularly. At the end of dinner I followed her to her new home as we found out we are less than a half mile from each other now. She told me about how her older daughter has an amazing new job opportunity and just left for the big city. Her younger daughter is thriving and looking towards big change as she figures out which high school will one day be her alma mater. This friend has been through some serious trials in life. To see her happy and whole is wonderful.

PS – our dinner at American Harvest was OUTSTANDING!!!

Friday, I had the day off causing a burst of domesticity that involved buying a mop. My cell phone bill buddy stopped by for our monthly chat. She commented, “I love coming by here. It’s like no time has passed. We just jump right back in.” That made me feel good. I cleaned up and went on an afternoon date with a very nice guy. We had great conversation and made plans to see each other again. I came home to chill for a bit before hitting the town with my friends. Facebook alerted me to the fact that one of oldest friend’s dad had suffered a major heart attack, sending him into a 10 day coma. He woke up Friday 🙂 I thanked God for His miracle and went about my evening. I picked up my friend, whose mother was buried that day, to grab some Mexican and several drinks. We were joined after dinner by a few other friends. We enjoyed a night of laughter and conversation – “a full release” as she called it. She had fun and was grateful for some time away after a very emotional week. I felt privileged to be with her. I got them to the last bar safely and came home to fall asleep with lots on my mind. Before sleep came a string of texts with a college friend reminiscing on some of our silly youthfulness and Janet Jackson’s “Nasty Boys” – not your average end of the night lullaby!

Saturday started with an email that set the tone for my day. My biological father and I have been in contact for over a month now. I laugh and smile at every message he sends me. I got up and the cleaning continued. I readied my house for Monday’s visitor and made mac n cheese for a night with more friends. I took a nap and snapped with my friend’s 8 year old daughter. I skipped the shower portion of my day and went over to their house in the comfiest of clothes. We ate dinner, had a few drinks and lots of laughs. I held their baby and talked shit with their 12 year old son. There was another couple over I’d not met and am glad I now have. I got to watch a mother rock her child to sleep under the stars. I caught up with my friends and made plans for the future. I got to watch my boy be a father. I watched them both with gratitude to be a part of their love and their life. I’m not always so lucky to meet a woman who is so open to my friendship with her man. They are a blessing.

Sunday – ugh I am STILL cleaning! LOL I waited from the call from my parents to go to the hospital for a visit. I sent a message to my biological mother telling her I have changed my mind about waiting to meet her family until after she and I have met. Unfortunately, she and I won’t be in the same place for a long time. Busy schedules and thousands of miles just don’t work well together. I will be close to her family later this month and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to meet who I can in case the chance never comes again. She was understanding, as I knew she would be. The fact I’m meeting my first blood relatives in a couple weeks will hit me later I’m sure. I made my way to the hospital to see my friend and his family to rejoice that his dad is alive. What a miracle! I shed some private tears but spent most of the time smiling. I was overwhelmed watching his boys take care of him. I listened to his wife tell us the scary details of the attack and everything since then. I watched a father look at his sons with such love and what I think was thankfulness to still be with them. They played him some of his favorite music. He tapped his foot, shook his shoulders and even sang along a couple times – laughing and smiling. I will never lose that memory as it found a space in my heart immediately. I got some FaceTime with my best friend and my favorite two year old. I arrived home with so much on my mind and heart. As I typed a message thanking my mom for her understanding, I got a text from a college friend sharing the news of her engagement!!!!! ❤ More tears of joy and gratitude.

What’s the point of publicly posting my weekend in detail? It was A LOT of reality in a short amount of time. I was able to share just about every emotion with people I love this weekend. Except anger. There was no anger even where their was fear and worry, love and happiness abounded. Death is sometimes closer than we know. The loss of someone you love is something you never stop feeling. I want to know when I lose someone they knew how much I cherished them. I appreciated our time together. I was blessed to know them. Do you spend your time appreciating what and who you have? Do you tell people you love them? Do you hug them? Are you honest with them? I tell you what, life is…I don’t know that I have the word I want. Life is amazing. But, death is a very real part of life. I’ve managed to avoid losing a lot of people I love so far. I am working on how I deal with death because it is an important part of our existence. It is the realist part of our reality I believe.

Thank you to all mentioned for changing my world and making it a better place. If you’re reading this, there is a good chance you too have made my life better. I urge you all to remember each and every day is a good one – even the bad days. Say the things that are on your heart to the people in your life – especially the tough stuff. Spend time with them just in case next time you can’t. Life (and death) will, in its day-to-day way, continue.

Love each other.